sandpaper kisses - a poem by Nicole garwe

i said, 

i said

it no longer hurts, 

it no longer burns. 

but, 

as I fall sleep 

in the quiet of the night, 

alone, with haunting thoughts 

for company, 

my hands shake, 

my limbs ache,

and I remember, 

the way he touched me,

with hand and lips

grating,

scratching,  

itching

sandpaper 

against delicate skin. 

 

alone at night, 

appears 

hemp rope wound

around 

my neck, 

squeezing tight

tight

then tighter. 

i open my mouth

to scream,

but i am only met with 

familiar hollowness. 

and i know 

no sound will ever come 

from me.

 

my hands shake,

my limbs ache. 

Hush,” He whispers

“Relax.” 

in the empty dark,

He lies next to me, 

And says,  

“I’ll make it good for you too,” 

and again, i ask, 

was i supposed to say thank you?


Nicole is a Zimbabwean, International Development graduate at the University of Edinburgh. She enjoys exploring ideas of healing, listening to true crime and writing her book. Nicole will soon be brave enough to post her works on instagram here and here.

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