WAKING UP SAD

WAKING UP SAD

 I.                

you can do it you're amazing

you can do it you are living life

and you can do it I'm proud of

you and you can do it you

have so much to give you can

do it I am proud of you I am so

proud of you you can do it

you can do it you can do it you're amazing and you can

do it you

 

II.

waking up sad I tell myself to

try

smile and laugh through the

urge to cry

I can move from my bed to

the warmth of the shower

and then I stay under there

for hour after hour

realising with a toxic power

that I can't do shit

but

I know there's more

I see all the strength that I

give

and I yearn to let myself

forgive

but my trauma is made of steel

it blocks out my appeals and

that excitement, it flits,

twists into a crushing abyss-

needing to be gooder than

great

suffocation keeps me up late

and

I can't breathe and it hurts to

laugh

I’m stuck listing all I lack

I move from the bed to the

cold shower

no matter how much water a

seed that will never flower

and

instead I’ll spiral, a sickening

cycle,

forcing me to submit, forcing

me to commit,

forcing me to admit

that I am totally unfit

and become cripplingly aware

that I can't do shit

 

 

III.

you are sunshine to me

the only thing that matters

growing through the grass

with a stem that shakes and

shatters.

 

remember you are enough

a girl whose words are broken

too much weight in your heart

to never let it open

 

it loves and loves and loves

it weeps with pain and joy

growing through the dirt each

day

expanding in the void

 

remember when you breathe

that it flows from me to you.

remember you are sunshine,

dandelion and dew.

 

yalla

 

take a deep breath in

 and let it cleanse your soul,

despite the odds and pain

your heart is made of gold.

Pitter Patter

Pitter Patter

Plan B

Plan B